The Green Hornet

"Everyone involved deserves a high five."

Every now and then I like to have my expectations blown out of the water. It doesn't occur often, but when it does, it happens in a big way. The trailers for The Green Hornet had almost convinced me not to see the movie, and definitely haven't been anything worth talking about. I went in expecting a clunky, overly simple plot filled with bad puns and pathetic acting and instead was given a lively, engaging, truly funny buddy comedy. Films can have many purposes -- educational or amusing, revolutionary or mindless -- but after the kind of year we all had, I think it's time to have fun at the movies again, and Green Hornet agrees wholeheartedly.

Set in Los Angeles (though it could truly be any major city in America), the film first introduces irresponsible party boy Britt Reid (Seth Rogen), who unexpectedly loses his father (Tom Wilkinson) and is suddenly in charge of a newspaper empire, which he attempts to pass off into more capable hands. After meeting his father's mechanic, Kato (Jay Chou), and getting a glimpse of his crime-fighting abilities after a prank goes wrong, Reid schemes up a plan to fight crime as the Green Hornet with Kato alongside. What makes the Green Hornet different? He'll pose as a bad guy to lure in the villains, and then take them down one by one. When one major player (Christoph Waltz) takes him on, will the Green Hornet and Kato be able to stay in the crime-fighting business long enough to do any good?

Now, there are a few weaknesses here, namely that the movie takes its time in setting up. It takes a while for the Green Hornet to materialize, but once he does the story moves along nicely. The script is penned by Seth Rogen and writing partner Evan Goldberg (also responsible for Pineapple Express and Superbad) and it stays mostly in familiar territory for the two: the buddy comedy. There's not a great deal of introspection or exposition in the film, we don't learn much about motivations or desires. The script expends so much energy on the Green Hornet and Kato that there's not much room for villains or anyone else to take the stage, and that's what keeps Green Hornet from being fantastic. However, it's also what makes the movie so much fun to watch. The movie is directed by Michel Gondry, who hasn't fared so well in his recent ventures (The Science of Sleep or Be Kind, Rewind), yet here Gondry has kept all of his fanciful impulses in check and allowed the clever script and well-done action sequences to propel the film forward.

As far as acting goes, Tom Wilkinson is the weak cartoonish link in an otherwise tremendously strong cast. Christoph Waltz, as the mild-mannered yet determined villain Chudnofsky, is such a pleasure to watch it is a pity he's underused, much the same as Cameron Diaz in her small role as Britt Reid's brainy secretary. It's so much fun to watch the Green Hornet and Kato pal around and fiddle with their cool gadgets that you almost don't miss the rest of the cast. And on that note -- the real star of the film would easily be Jay Chou; as Kato he attacks with the calm, practiced eye of a martial arts wizard, his cars and inventive gadgets are Batman-levels of awesome, and he is the perfect foil to the bouncy and over-eager Green Hornet as played by Rogen. There's also a few fun supporting character cameos that I won't ruin for you here.

Fans of the franchise in all its incarnations may not be as excited for the film, as it is silly rather than serious, and more focused on the buddy comedy and less on the actual story of the Green Hornet, but everyone involved deserves a high five for taking one of the last undeveloped comic book entities and turning it into a good movie with plenty of room for sequels. I'm not a huge fan of 3-D as I think it adds extra dollars to already high ticket prices; however, I would even go so far as to recommend seeing the film in 3-D, as it adds rather than detracts from the overall story. The Green Hornet is hilarious, fun to watch, and I found myself laughing throughout -- the perfect antidote to the heavy-handed awards season films that always swamp audiences at the end of the year.

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No Strings Attached

"A perfectly acceptable romantic comedy."

No Strings Attached kind of wants to pretend that it came up with the idea of friends with benefits, that somehow this concept has gone long undiscussed and by gum, it's time to have a real exploration of this important issue facing our society. "Can there be sex without someone getting hurt?" The film begs us to consider, and from the get-go it seems impossible. The problem is veteran director Ivan Reitman isn't breaking new ground or exploring anything other than the very modern and deeply ingrained desire to have it all, and we as an audience are pitted against the characters even as we cheer them on toward a relationship as they make a halfhearted attempt to keep it simple. Love seems to need obstacles to overcome, and the obstacles in this case aren't time- or space- or family-related, but are the fears and concerns that make up our everyday lives.

Emma (Natalie Portman) and Adam (Ashton Kutcher) play longtime friends who decide to make a go of it, trading on their mutual attraction for a sexual relationship with no expectations. She's the busy doctor who can't commit and doesn't believe in love anyway, he's the goofy romantic Hollywood assistant who's willing to take her on her terms. So far so good. With each of them daring the other one to fall in love, it seems obvious from the start that they're perfect for each other. We follow them through their non-relationship, complete with secret trysts, emotional complications, family dinners, and various obligations as they attempt to navigate their own feelings as well as the problems that keep a relationship from happening.

Coming off the serious dramatic success of Black Swan and her heralded performance in it, Natalie Portman is only acceptable in her coldhearted and steadfast refusal to be swept away by emotions. Ashton Kutcher plays a slightly less hyper version of himself, all grinning excitement and boyish charm, filled with so much zest for life and patient understanding that it's a little exhausting just to watch this saint of a human deal with the rest of the civilians. The supporting cast is a vast crew of friendly faces, including Kevin Kline as the preposterous and blustery father of Ashton Kutcher's character; Greta Gerwig and Mindy Kaling as Portman's BFFs; Cary Elwes as a distinguished doctor; and the surprising Lake Bell, who stands out above all else as an awkward and timid co-worker looking for love.

No Strings Attached isn't particularly funny; the comedic moments are mostly tired-out tropes that would have been annoying a decade ago. Yet the film is realistic in some ways, and a complete lie in many others, but at its worst it's still a perfectly acceptable romantic comedy. The female characters are capable and strong, if not a little silly, the men are full of bravado and machismo that melts away when it needs to, and there's a dearth of idiotic one-liners (only one violent offender springs to mind). And let's hear it for a film that is set in Los Angeles that actually utilizes the city: Adam is an (improbably attractive) assistant with writer aspirations on a TV show that is Glee-esque, Emma hangs out downtown, and the pair even end up at the very recognizable L.A. County Museum of Art. Whereas 500 Days of Summer tried to convince us that Los Angeles was really more like San Francisco or New York, No Strings Attached likes Los Angeles the way it is, just brighter and cleaner. No Strings Attached won't surprise or enthrall you, but it's a fine way to spend a few hours.

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The Way Back

"A worthy venture."

The Way Back begins with a spoiler: In 1941, three men trudged into India after walking 4,000 miles from Siberia. This is their story. Our question as we watch the movie: Which three will it be?

The film is loosely based on Slawomir Rawicz's 1956 book The Long Walk, a bestselling account of the author's journey after escaping a Russian gulag. The story's veracity has been rather strenuously questioned since then, and the film is only "inspired by" the book anyway, so it's best not to keep thinking, "Wow, this really happened!," because a lot of it probably didn't.

Fiction or not, though, it's an amazing story of survival, directed byPeter Weir (The Truman Show, Witness) with his usual serious, workmanlike skill. It's a good enough film, and what keeps it from being better might be endemic to the story. The tale of a 4,000-mile walk is almost unavoidably going to have some lag time.

The benefits of putting a prison camp in Siberia are obvious, as summarized by one of the guards early on: "Nature is your jailer, and she is without mercy." Even if inmates escape from the gulag itself, they have a few hundred miles of frozen wilderness to contend with.

Having established the stakes, The Way Back proceeds to tell about some people who do escape from the gulag and who do face the natural perils thereafter. They are an odd assortment of different types, including a Polish dissident (Jim Sturgess), a cryptic American (Ed Harris), an actual criminal (Colin Farrell) -- most of the inmates are merely political prisoners -- and a handful of others. (Sebastian Urzendowsky, Alexandru Potocean, Dragos Bucur, and Gustaf Skarsgard -- a German, two Romanians, and a Swede -- round out the multinational cast.) There are some fatalities that thin the ranks, and a teenage girl, played by Saoirse Ronan (Atonement), who joins the group mid-trek.

For a good long while the film's depictions of hardship and deprivation are the kind that inspire awe and respect in audience members, who will feel very grateful to have warm places to sleep tonight. (If they do not have warm places to sleep tonight, at least they can take comfort in knowing they are not in Siberia. If they are in Siberia, then I don't know what to tell them.) Weir, working from a screenplay he co-wrote with Keith R. Clarke, conveys the toll of such a journey -- physically, mentally, hygienically -- realistically without dwelling on the grosser aspects. He doesn't pull punches, though. This isn't the kind of long-distance movie trek where everyone arrives at their destination with smooth skin and healthy teeth. (Not for nothing was the film shortlisted for the Oscars' makeup category.)

After a while, though, the journey grows repetitive. I know, I know -- think how it must have felt for them. But from a storytelling standpoint, this is a problem. After conquering one obstacle, the group simply faces another one. We got past the freezing cold; now we're in the boiling desert. Good-bye wolves, hello mosquitoes. There are new challenges, but no new developments or characterization. The dynamic within the group evolves the way you'd expect, tension giving way to camaraderie, and there are some nice, human moments with the band of refugees. The whole thing is beautifully photographed (on location, not in a studio) by Russell Boyd, who won an Oscar for his cinematography on Weir's Master and Commander.

Eventually the film itself is something of an endurance test, and not as rewarding as it hopes to be. But it's a worthy venture, earnest and well-produced and occasionally gripping.

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The Rite

"There's a lot of bad happening here, but none can be attributed to Hopkins."

There has been a recent fascination with exorcism movies, starting with The Exorcism of Emily Rose and also seen in last summer's sleeper hit The Last Exorcism. Of course, none could hold a candle to The Exorcist, but that hasn't stopped filmmakers from diving into the recurring story of good vs. evil, Satan vs. the words of God, or possessed girls vs. priests' losing their faith. The Rite is no different from other Exorcist copycats, hitting the same ol' plot points and general storylines, albeit with one major exception: it's not very good.

Claiming to be inspired by true events, the film follows former mortician Michael Kovak (Colin O'Donoghue) as he joins a seminary school in attempt to find meaning in his life. But before he can graduate to full priesthood he questions his faith and decides to quit the church forever. As one last attempt to regain his faith and finish his studies, he sets off for Rome to take a course in exorcisms (because he was a mortician and can stomach horrific things). After attributing stories of the possessed to psychology, his superiors ask him to tag along with noted exorcist Father Lucas Trevant (Anthony Hopkins as he conducts exorcisms on a daily basis. Will seeing the Devil at work restore Kovak's belief in God and faith in the church?

The biggest problem The Rite has is that it's boring, and for a movie (that bases its existence on entertainment), being boring is decidedly not a good thing. The film's boring factor could be attributed to its story of regaining one's faith in God and the church, as it's a story we've seen in just about every movie involving exorcisms. Or it could be attributed to the overall blandness of the film's protagonist (O'Donoghue), who equated being a skeptic to one who shows as little emotion as possible. Then there's the gray and colorless feel of the film, which is par for the course for religious horror films I suppose, but still bland to behold.

For a horror movie featuring exorcisms, the presence of Satan, and the possession of the innocent, The Rite is also quite weak in the scares department. Save for a few boo-scares, the film doesn't offer a single scary, eerie, creepy, or horrific moment during its entire running time. It tries to pull off a few scenes of spookiness, but as it's so predictable in its "been there, done that" approach, the creep level never really hits its mark. To breathe life into the blandness they threw in a subplot of a journalist (Alice Braga) trying to reveal the truth about real-life exorcisms, but it too falls short of its intentions, and adds nothing to the overall arc of the film.

There's plenty to blame for The Rite's blandness, none of which falls on the great Anthony Hopkins, who serves as the film's only saving grace. Hopkins lets loose a performance that's wild and eccentric one moment, then controlled and powerful the next. Fans of Hopkins will enjoy his performance in The Rite, as he creates a character who's actually worth following around for most (if not all) of his screen time. He's the only one in the entire picture who shows any enthusiasm, which is unfortunate as his character doesn't show up until about a half hour into the film. There's a lot of bad happening here, but none can be attributed to Hopkins.

The filmmakers had a chance to do something different with The Rite, to give us a story about exorcisms that we haven't seen before. Instead, they duplicated every other exorcist movie out there, and worst of all, it's not scary. Hopkins brings his talent to the table, but even he can't save the film from bombing. If you're one of those people who watches every exorcism movie out there, wait for it to hit video; if you're like everyone else looking to be entertained, skip The Rite altogether.

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The Roommate

"Oozes into guilty pleasure territory."

The "crazy chick" sub-genre of thrillers is entertaining. It generally features a gal who seems normal at first ... but goes totally nuts by the end. Glenn Close perfected the genre with Fatal Attraction, and films such as The Crush, Swimfan, and Obsessed have done what they can to keep the genre going strong, but it was Single White Female that took it to another level by replacing the romantic relationship crazy with friendship crazy. The Roommate is essentially SWF for today's modern teenage audience. Though it is not nearly as good, it's surprisingly entertaining and delivers the crazy as promised.

Sara Matthews (Minka Kelly) arrives on the campus of the University of Los Angeles with high hopes and aspirations to be the next big thing in style and fashion. She's super excited to live in the dorms and to have a new roommate. What she gets is Rebecca (Leighton Meester), an artsy loner who becomes a little too obsessed with Sara to the point where creepy doesn't begin to describe it.

By taking one look at that synopsis, you know if you'll find this film enjoyable or not. A sweet innocent girl has a crazy roommate. What's not to like about that? Whether you've gone to college or not, chances are you've had a roommate, a housemate, or a friend at some point. Now imagine that person was absolutely out of their mind and completely obsessed with you. Sound scary? You betcha. Does it come off as scary in The Roommate? Well ... it has its moments.

Don't get me wrong, the movie itself isn't scary, but there's this feeling of anxious dread every time Meester is on the screen that's almost unbearable. There are no real boo-scares and it won't invoke nightmares, but the movie reaches respectable heights on the "creep-o-meter."

A solid script, intelligence, and more than just extremely pretty faces might be high on your list, but unfortunately, you're not going to find those here. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing, as the characters are given enough juice to make you care about them (the roommates in question, anyway), the dialogue isn't as horrendous as it could have been, and the decisions that are made to keep the movie going aren't all that stupid or careless. And behind those pretty faces there are some decent performances, including Meester, who can do crazy just as well as any of her predecessors.

The casting definitely adds to the film's quasi-success. Meester and Kelly look like they could be the same person, and even the overhyped Cam Gigandet rocked the role as the boyfriend with charm, grace, and just the right amount of comic relief. No one involved will be recognized for their stellar acting abilities, but in the confines of this movie, everyone does a decent enough job .

The only real fault the film has is in its execution of the crazy. The character of Rebecca just isn't crazy enough. She doesn't take it too far in any direction, pulling back from being really psychotic to just your standard level of crazy. Because these films are a dime a dozen, they really needed to push the envelope to set it apart from all the rest, but instead they produced a "by the numbers" crazy chick who lives in a world of predictability. In other words, everything Meester does you see coming a mile away.

No one could ever accuse The Roommate of raising the cinematic bar, nor would anyone label it as being a "good movie," but there's no denying its entertainment value. In many ways it oozes into the "guilty pleasure" territory. Leighton Meester and Minka Kelly (not to mention Cam Gigandet) make for solid eye candy, easily enjoyed throughout. And when Meester lays down the crazy ... she really lays down the crazy. If that's all you're looking for, then The Roommate mostly delivers.

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Sanctum

"Horrid."

It makes perfect sense that Sanctum is horrid, because it's being released on Super Bowl weekend, when no studio in their right mind expects anyone to be out and about at the theater on Sunday. In that sense, this is a sort of a mercy killing, because if a film is released in the forest, and no one hears it, did it really happen?Sanctum!

A group of hearty Australian explorers has descended uponEsa'Ala, in remote Papua New Guinea, to chart magnificent underwater caves, all in the hope of finding an outlet to the open ocean. They are passionate and resolute regarding their quest, perhaps even mildly fatalistic, because these watery caves represent the last completely unexplored territories on the planet. The team has to repel down what seems to be a massive opening in the Earth's surface, hundreds of feet, and one of the group base jumps to speed the process along. So, yeah, we're going to be dealing with those kinds of people.

Once at the bottom of the enormous cave, the group must shimmy and squeeze to get down even farther into the depths, all in an effort to hit water. Then the real fun starts, as they throw on heavy-duty dive gear, and dive into water untouched by sun, along undersea mountains unseen by anyone since the beginning of time.

All of which is fine. If only they'd done this in silence!

We're immediately thrown into a father-son dynamic, the father being one of the most demanding and accomplished undersea cave divers in the world. The son is a petulant moron, but really, neither of them come off too well and both are more or less instantaneously loathsome. Thankfully, the story focuses mostly on them, or else we'd have a shot at a decent time. But wait! There are other characters: There's the rich guy funding this whole project, who also seems to be quite the intrepid diver in his own right. He brings along his girlfriend, because she's climbed Everest, and all her learned life experience will be relatively useless in the cruel cave-diving environment. Typical guy move, right? There's also the native New Guinean who will get a full five minutes of screen time, another gal who is the father's dive buddy, and a guy who oversees the dives because he can't dive himself anymore. I think he was my favorite character, computer guy who is doomed, so if you head in to see this film attach yourself to him mentally and hang on tight.

Honestly, all of this would be fine too. Solid action / thriller films have been built upon far less. But now we get to the issues, which act as a movie-killing hydra. Here goes!

Logic: Oh, how the film hates logic. Just abhors it. There's a scene where we're told "A storm is a coming." This storm is two days away. Fine -- no harm, no foul. And then, around eight movie minutes later, the storm is UPON THEM. Two full days early! Now look, I'm no Al Roker, but I'd think a general time/speed/distance equation is employed in instances like this, instances where there's a chance you'll DIE if you get it wrong. Did the storm suddenly switch from 10 to 1000 miles per hour? The best part is communications are disrupted from "base camp" to the cave divers, and when comms are restored the vibe is all "Now it's a CYCLOOOOONEEEEE!!" Which means the team will likely drown in the caves, as everything will flood. Ridiculous. Which leads us nicely to ...

The Contrivances: There's a member of the team who has given up diving because it might kill him. Certain safety equipment wasn't correctly procured by the son this time around. Do you think items like these might come up again?

The Dialogue: Really the most woeful part, gems like "What could possibly go wrong diving in caves?" "This cave will kill you in a heartbeat!" are littered throughout the 108 minutes of madness. The entire film comes off as an actor's workshop, and I can imagine the actor's saying, "Wait, you were recording that?" before realizing in horror that their practice session was about to go on their resume.

The Lack of Concern for the Characters: The father/son dynamic overwhelms everything else in this film, only it is by far the weakest part. I get that the father has made the son go exploring with him, and I get that the son is resentful of his dad's perceived insensitivity. Sure, sure. But they beat you over the head with this throughout. Prodding dad, angry son. Over and over, into the abyss, to the point you're praying one of them dies. There are another two characters who "escape" early, only we're never shown them again. Who were they? Did they make it? We'll never know, as Sanctum doesn't have time for its characters.

And our last head of the awfulness-hydra is:

The Score: A great score can help a film like this thrive. This one does not. Orchestral music swelling as yet another character does or says something idiotic maketh a film not. Dreadful.

Were there any good parts? Yes, I can point to a few 3-D scenes that looked innovative and smooth; the technical crew here looks to have mastered how light refracts from headlight lamps. Good on them, there. Are those seconds worth a full-price admission to a 3-D film? I'll let you choose your own adventure on that one. Just make sure you check the weather before heading out, as I wouldn't want an instant cyclone to swallow you right up.

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The Eagle

"Perfectly acceptable matinee fodder." 

The Eagle is a lot easier to swallow when you know that the book it's based on -- Rosemary Sutcliff's The Eagle of the Ninth, from 1954 -- was intended for young adult readers. That doesn't give a story license to be dumb, but it does promote a certain leniency toward elements that might otherwise make you roll your eyes. For example, the hero, a Roman soldier looking for a long-lost platoon whose symbol was a bronze eagle, is named Marcus Aquila -- and "Aquila" is Latin for "eagle." His last name matches the thing he's looking for. In a serious, grown-up historical drama, that would be dopey. Aimed at younger readers, though, it comes across as charmingly simple.

The film version, directed by Kevin Macdonald (The Last King of Scotland), has that laid-back, easy-to-watch vibe. It pretends half-heartedly to target adult audiences while keeping the violence toned down enough to stay in the teen-friendly PG-13 realm and letting the dialogue remain unapologetically anachronistic. ("Come on!" Marcus yells to a crowd, urging them to vote in favor of something. "Get your thumbs up!") Less epic than Gladiator, less ridiculous than last year's Centurion, less homoerotic than Top Gun (but just barely), this is perfectly acceptable matinee fodder.

Marcus Aquila is played by Channing Tatum, a man who dances well and looks good in a centurion's costume but isn't exactly overburdened with personality. It's the middle of the second century A.D., and Marcus is the new commander of a Roman garrison in occupied Britain. He is a good leader, but he struggles to earn the respect of his men because of a certain family embarrassment: It was Marcus' father who was leading the famed Ninth Legion when it disappeared, some 20 years ago, never to be heard from again. Look, nobody's saying Mr. Aquila Senior was bad at his job. They're just saying he happened to be the one in charge when 5,000 soldiers vanished in northern Britain, that's all.

Heroically injured in battle, Marcus can no longer fight against the barbaric local tribes that are savagely trying to chase out the Romans, the big meanies. (Seriously, it's getting to where an empire can't even invade, conquer, and colonize whomever it pleases anymore!) But after being counseled by his wise old uncle (Donald Sutherland), Marcus hits on another way of serving Rome. He pronounces it thus: "If I can't win back my family's honor by being a soldier, then I'll do it by finding the lost Eagle!" That means heading north, beyond Hadrian's Wall, into what nowadays we'd call Scotland, in search of the Ninth Legion and/or its bronze emblem.

He is assisted in his quest by Esca (Jamie Bell), a slave boy of the local race whom he saves from being murdered in a gladiatorial arena because he admires his moxie, or possibly his spunk. Esca harbors ill will toward Marcus and the rest of the Romans (what with their being merciless conquerers of Esca's people and all), but a deal's a deal, so off they go. Esca can blend in with the locals up north -- in fact, he'll have to pretend that Marcus is his slave -- and subtly search for clues about the missing eagle ornament and the men who once carried it.

Speaking of regaining one's honor, Kevin Macdonald has made more valuable films than this one, notably the documentaries Touching the Void and One Day in September. Macdonald handles The Eagle like a pro, achieving some modest thrills in the action scenes. He is not one to slack off, even on frivolous projects. But you get the feeling he won't be listing this one near the top of his resume. Tatum and Bell do the male-bonding thing just fine and kick the requisite amount of Scottish arse. You want a movie like this to entertain you without making you feel embarrassed to have bought a ticket, and that's pretty much what it does.

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Just Go With It" (2011)

"This movie is exactly what you think it's going to be."

Just Go With It wants to sweep us along in a web of lies and hilarity, pleading with us to like it as it serves up one tired gag after another without actually daring to do anything worthwhile. The simple demand Just Go With It becomes not only helpful words of advice, but also an easy excuse and eventually a desperate appeal.

Danny (Adam Sandler) is a successful plastic surgeon who gets his long-time assistant and friend Katherine (Jennifer Aniston) to pretend to be his ex-wife in order to cover up a lie he tells to Palmer, a hot girl (Brooklyn Decker) he has fallen in love with. As things get more serious between Danny and Palmer, everything starts to spin out of control when it soon appears that Danny and Katherine have kids, and after a few more lies, everyone ends up in Hawaii trying to get to know one another. As time progresses, what was merely a fake relationship to help a friend begins to grow into something more, but will Danny and Katherine recognize it for what it is?

Setting aside the implausibility of the entire venture, the illogical leaps and bounds that are endlessly more confusing than simply telling the truth would have been, the fact of the matter remains: this is the sort of film that doesn't add anything substantial to the world of comedy. There's nothing quotable and nothing particularly memorable. It's fine while it's happening to you, but as soon as you leave the theater, the events of the past two hours are whisked from the mind almost as if they never happened.

There are a few laughs, mostly at the theatrical antics of the two kids (Bailee Madison and Griffin Gluck) or the annoying but amiable cousin Eddie (Nick Swardson), but the bulk of the film that relies on Aniston and Sandler is regrettably non-hilarious. The real scene-stealers are the stunning Nicole Kidman as an old college frenemy of Aniston's, alongside a droll and preening Dave Matthews (yes,that Dave Matthews). Kidman and Matthews are truly fun to watch, charming and engaging in all the best ways.

Throughout the course of the film, the question "Why?" popped into my mind about a thousand times. It's ludicrous to believe that Decker's character would be stupid enough to believe anything these people are telling her, but, you know, just go with it. Also silly are the multiple ridiculous attempts to make Jennifer Aniston look anything other than stunning, see: she's wearing glasses, her hair is so frumpy, she's such a mom. But Aniston is gorgeous, as Decker's character points out on at least five separate occasions, but you know what to do by now: just go with it.

Aniston is a gifted physical comedienne, and Sandler has the capacity to elicit laughs, so why aren't they funny together? The script is convoluted and here and there seems to be missing some obvious plot developments, probably cut to slim down an already lengthy film. The chemistry between Sandler and Aniston is evident, and Aniston makes a good foil for Sandler, but Sandler doesn't give her much to work with, relying mainly on a few running gags that shouldn't have survived the first draft of the script.

Just Go With It is very nearly two hours long, and it's difficult to figure out why. The relationship between Decker's Palmer and Sandler's Danny is rushed and underdeveloped in order to move us right along into the thick of the confusion in Hawaii as everyone except Palmer is in on the joke: trying to help the erstwhile Danny win her heart. Palmer is well-meaning, sweet, and beautiful, but the burgeoning feelings between Danny and Katherine are undeniable and ultimately the audience isn't sure where to commit. There's no real villain here, just pretty people trying to make their way in the world. Which isn't terrible compelling, and since it isn't compelling, it sure as heck should be funny. Which it isn't.

This movie is exactly what you think it's going to be: entirely predictable, minimally funny, and fairly dull. If you're a huge fan of anyone in the film, go see it, but otherwise just wait and rent it.

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I Am Number Four

"An enjoyable romp."

It makes perfect sense that a film produced by Michael Bay starts with a wide shot of the entire world. We then pan in, closer, closer, until finally we find ourselves in a hut, in the rain forest. Two men are clearly hiding out, on the lam, each snug in their veiled hammock, trying to get some sleep. But wait! A noise, at the door -- though who could be happening upon them in such a remote location? Mogadorians! What's a Mogadorian? It's a bad guy! Oh no, they are chasing one of the "good" guys! But who are these "good" guys?

That's essentially the plot of I Am Number Four, the story of the "good" guys being sequentially hunted down and murdered by Mogadorians. There are nine (total) quasi-heroes, called Loriens, and each is protected by something akin to a bodyguard / mentor. To give away more of the plot would be a disservice, so let's just call this a "thriller," note the hunter/prey relationship, and break down who does what in the film.

Alex Pettyfer is the young Lorien named John; his protector is played by Timothy Olyphant. They find themselves on the run, quite often, moving from Florida to Paradise, Ohio, at the drop of a hat, all to stay one step ahead of the evil Mogs. And boy howdy, are these Mogs nasty bastards. They are all about tracking, killing, and looking menacing. They also have what appear to be gills on their cheeks. They're planning some sort of Earth invasion, but their motives are left mercifully cloudy. They are simple creatures, and their single-mindedness leaves little room for introspection or sympathy. If you're looking for a cinematic pedigree, the bad guys from Superman all the way back in 1980 come to mind.

So that's the setup: good vs. evil, the hunters pursuing the hunted. We've seen it hundreds of times before, and it never makes or breaks a film. With a concept like this, it always comes down to the details, the execution. Which, surprisingly, is where I Am Number Four thrives.

I Am Number Four flies along thanks to decent dialogue, a purposeful pace, and an overall vibe of mysterious creepiness. Little nuggets of knowledge are sprinkled throughout the film that enhance the depth of each character, and John meets a girl (Dianna Agron from Glee), which only makes his flight from the Mogs more difficult. There's also a fairly prevalent "new kid in high school" angle, as John is a teenager on the run and all his interactions are heightened by lack of experience. Did I mention the beagle? There's a beagle, played by a dog actor, who adds a little something into the mix as well.

At this point I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the supernatural angle of I Am Number Four. You see, certain characters have powers, alien powers they don't quite understand, powers that they can use against the Mogs when things are at their darkest. The CGI is professionally handled and doesn't detract from the film's emotional resonance. The soundtrack is another boon to the material -- some of the artists featured include Adele, Letters from the Sky, and the Temper Trap. It's a moody alt soundtrack, and it elevates the impact of the visuals.

I Am Number Four is a February thriller that moves, and a film that desperately cries out for a sequel. It's not perfect, and there are a few random asides that seem to be a function of tackling such a broad story, but overall the movie works and is routinely entertaining. The prominently featured young actors carry the story on their shoulders and the concepts presented are compelling. Perhaps February's recent history as a movie "dumping ground" has me feeling overly generous, but I Am Number Four was an enjoyable romp.

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Cars 2

Cars 2 Plot Synopsis

Star racecar Lightning McQueen (voice of Owen Wilson) and the incomparable tow truck Mater (voice of Larry the Cable Guy) take their friendship to exciting new places in “Cars 2” when they head overseas to compete in the first-ever World Grand Prix to determine the world’s fastest car. But the road to the championship is filled with plenty of potholes, detours and hilarious surprises when Mater gets caught up in an intriguing adventure of his own: international espionage. Torn between assisting Lightning McQueen in the high-profile race and towing the line in a top-secret spy mission, Mater’s action-packed journey leads him on an explosive chase through the streets of Japan and Europe, trailed by his friends and watched by the whole world. Adding to the fast-paced fun is a colorful new all-car cast that includes secret agents, menacing villains and international racing competitors.

John Lasseter returns to the driver’s seat to direct this follow-up to his 2006 Golden Globe®-winning “Cars.” “Cars 2” is co-directed by Brad Lewis, producer of the Oscar®-winning film “Ratatouille,” and produced by visual effects industry veteran Denise Ream (associate producer , “Up”; visual effects executive producer, “Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith”).

Cars 2 Details

Distributor: Pixar Animation Studios/ Disney

Release Date:  2011-06-24

Starring: Voices: Owen Wilson, Larry The Cable Guy, Michael Caine, Emily Mortimer, Cheech Marin, Michael Keaton, Jason Isaacs, Bonnie Hunt, Tony Shalhoub, John Ratzenberger, Jenifer Lewis

Directed by: Brad Lewis, John Lasseter

Produced by: Denise Ream

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Unknown

"The plot grows increasingly preposterous, morphing from an intriguing mystery into a more mundane action vehicle." 

Well, yes, eventually Unknown becomes the kind of movie where an amnesiac tough guy tells an enemy, "I didn't forget everything. I remember how to kill you, a**hole." Which is too bad, because for a while it's not that kind of movie at all.

The psychological thriller, directed by Jaume Collet-Serra (Orphan), stars Liam Neeson as an American botanist named Martin Harris -- or "DOCTOR Martin Harris," as he keeps emphasizing. Dr. Martin Harris and his icy wife, Liz (January Jones), are in Berlin for a biotech conference when Martin is injured in an accident. He wakes up in a hospital four days later to find that no one in his life has any idea who he is.

Even more perplexing: Liz has a husband named Dr. Martin Harris, but it's not him. It's some other guy (played by Aidan Quinn). This guy claims all the same biographical details as our Martin, and Liz says she's never seen the Liam Neeson Martin before. Has our Martin suffered a brain injury that's giving him delusions about his identity? Is he who he really thinks he is? Is this an elaborate conspiracy to make him think he's crazy? What, if anything, the hell is going on here?

To suddenly find yourself uncertain of something as essential as your identity must be nightmarish, and Unknown has a few moments that exploit the eeriness of it. The Twilight Zone-ish premise is compelling, Collet-Serra doesn't let things get too slow, and Oliver Butcher and Stephen Cornwell's screenplay (loosely adapted from Dider Van Cauwelaert's novel Out of My Head) has Martin finding small answers often enough to stave off total exasperation, both for him and the viewer. He gets help from a Bosnian cab driver (Diane Kruger) who was with him at the time of the accident, and from an investigator -- a former Stasi officer -- played by Bruno Ganz. (Ganz played Hitler in Downfall, scenes from which have been used in many Internet parodies and mashups.)

It was smart to set the film in Berlin. (The book wasn't.) This is a city that seems cold and forbidding to outsiders, a city that's famous for having a split personality and that would like to forget much of its own past. There's a faint whiff of Cold War mystique that adds to the unease inherent in Martin's situation. You automatically get more tension by shooting in Berlin than you do in, say, Paris.

But over time the plot grows increasingly preposterous, morphing from an intriguing, Memento-style mystery into a more mundane action vehicle. The explanation for Martin's predicament is clever; the way everything goes after we get the explanation, not so much. (And the less said about January Jones' blank, emotionless performance, the better.) Neeson is always magnetic, though, even when he's just repeating his Taken performance and delivering cheesy one-liners, as he is eventually required to do here.

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Drive Angry Is Mostly Idiotic

"Feels like the very reason we can't have nice things."

Drive Angry is all jagged edges and broken promises. Take the title: such a simple descriptor, so easy to execute. Except there aren't all that many driving stunts; if anything, this is a genial road trip film, with far more shots of the '69 Charger or 454 Chevelle SSsimply moseying on down the ol' road. And then consider the "anger" aspect, again lacking. If anything, we get a cool and detached quest for vengeance, with none of the passion or depth the word "anger" conveys. But what if we don't take the words separately -- perhaps Nic Cage is mad as he's behind the wheel? Nope, no joy can be found there either. He's efficiently driving, perhaps even driving lethally, but nothing approaching angry driving. In fact, you could find a far better example of "Driving Angry" in a film called Groundhog Day, and that's even after the protagonist encourages the groundhog not to drive angry. So yeah, Drive Angry, it's nightmare city right from the get-go.

At this point everyone in the free world is saying, "Well, you know, what did you expect? It's a Nic Cage movie about him driving around, doling out death." Fair enough, and clearly everyone involved here was in on the joke that is Drive Angry. Every shred of terrible dialogue is said firmly tongue-in-cheek, and the creative team here put their efforts into homaging "bad-ass" muscle car cinema. I just wonder if these resources, and all these efforts, couldn't have been used for something, you know, actually good? It's all well and good to make homages, but the films they're glorifying were made the way they were because the people involved didn't have much in the way of money or time. There was a reason for the finished product, a momentum of trying to make something from limited resources. And sure, there was terrible dialogue in the "B movie" genre, but at least it was original back then. Throwing studio dollars at an attempt to re-create something that was at least uniquely bad feels like the very reason we can't have nice things. But I digress.

Our hero, Nicolas Cage, is one bad dude. He's so bad that heescaped from hell, and this line should be said in "breathy summer movie guy" voice. His action scenes will be accompanied by cheesy guitar riffs, and even when he's having sex he's also killing folk on the regular. The other main character, played by Amber Heard, isn't back from hell, though she seems to be comprised of large amounts of bluster followed by even larger amounts of getting punched in the face by men. So if you're looking for a film where a fellow drives aimlessly around and then a gal gets massively beaten up, have I got the movie for you!*

Now I'm not one to claim violence can't be used to dramatic effect, heck, my favorite film last year was Inglourious Basterds. It's just that everything here has so little in the way of consequences. The plot loosely (and I mean loosely) revolves around Cage trying to rescue his granddaughter from satanic kidnappers, but as none of the characters have depth, none of the action matters in the slightest. It's as if they filmed Nic Cage playing a county fair "whack-a-mole" game, only there's no fuzzy pink bear prize at the end. The effects are also remarkably dismal, in some cases appearing unfinished, and the 3-D -- while occasionally technically proficient -- is financially superfluous. At one point I'm pretty sure Nic Cage ran over a rubber snake in the road, just to see how much silliness an audience could endure. In no way should anyone be paying any extra dollars to see this film in 3-D. Save your money for something more tangible, like a frozen yogurt, or a postcard to your nana.

Drive Angry is in the unfortunate position of having no real reason to exist, terrible dialogue, no plot to speak of, and relatively poor effects. The good news? It's less than two hours, the soundtrack isn't abysmal, and there's a decent amount of laughs. Still, if paid professionals can endeavor to make a terrible film on purpose I see no reason we can't reward them with only our scorn and derision.

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Gnomeo & Juliet" (2011)

"A children's film that is reasonably cute."

As it turns out, there isn't all that much gnome-related humor. Furthermore, the tenuous connection that exists between Shakespeare's divine tragedy and Gnomeo and Juliet resides solely on the word "Romeo" sounding somewhat like the word "Gnome." We can surmise that if the Bard had named his playRichard and Juliet then Elton John never would have gotten involved and the now fully exploited gnome comedy genre would have gone forever unrealized, a weird pun fork in the road never taken. Of course, that is neither here nor there, and we're basically left with a children's film that is reasonably cute. Douglas Adams might have called it "Mostly Harmless."

This updated version of Montagues and Capulets has been simplified for youngsters, but there are still plenty of in jokes for Shakespeare fans. Two neighbors (who happen to hate each other) each have enormous gnome-filled gardens. The gnomes on one side are called the reds, the other group are known as the blues. That's right, it's Crips vs. Bloods, gnome style! The gnomes conform to a few logical tenets, they go stiff whenever humans see them, they are breakable, and they race lawn mowers against each other. So far, so good.

The bulk of the story centers around Juliet, a member of the red family, meeting Gnomeo, a proud blue. Why did Gnomeo's parents choose to name him after the object he actually is? This subject is not broached, though ideally it will kick off a generation of children named Humaneo. Gnomeo and Juliet's love is, of course, completely verboten. Juliet's dad disapproves of his daughter showing any independence and Gnomeo's mom seems mostly focused on mourning her dead husband. So no, you're not going to find anything approximating fleshed out (hardy har) gnome characters.

Where Gnomeo and Juliet struggles is the lack of crossover adult appeal. Sure, there are a few Shakespearean punch lines, maybe a smirk or two for the folks who pay rent. I should also mention the involvement of Elton John, an inclusion that would theoretically appeal to an older demographic. His work forms the entire score -- from "Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting" to "Crocodile Rock," you can't spend five minutes watching Gnomeo without another Elton John tune popping up. Sadly, the music is largely wasted on the material, as somehow gnomes racing a lawnmower doesn't organically translate to a song about fighting and getting a little action in.

So what are we left with? This doesn't rise to the lofty artistic levels of Pixar or the supremely entertaining levels of Dreamworks Animation, though children under 10 should enjoy it. The 3-D is relatively pointless, but that seems to be in the grand tradition of 3-D these days. Gnomeo and Juliet is a movie about gnomes finding love, rising above their differences, and Elton John songs. There's not much to it, but it's not a completely absurd viewing experience. As such, gnome if you want to.*

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Hall Pass (2011)

Hall Pass is a frustrating type of movie because you can see there was a well made and sweet movie struggling desperately to get out but ultimately doesn’t succeed.  With a rewrite and toning down the unneeded gross out humor the movie could have been one of the Farrelly Brothers better films, but ultimately ends up being a decent but forgettable film.

Rick (Owen Wilson) is a typical suburban dad, happily married to Maggie (Jenna Fisher) and loving father of 3 small children.  While he is happy in life, between the job and raising kids, Rick does not have much time for any bedroom activities with his wife.  Rick’s best friend Fred (Jason Sudekis) is in the same boat with a lot of pent up sexual frustration and the two guys do what typical guys do when together, talk a big game about women with having no inkling to actually back up their boasts.

Maggie and Fred’s wife Grace (Christina Applegate) start noticing their husbands’ roving eyes and when they complain to their friend about their husbands’ idiotic behavior, she lets them know the concept of the “hall pass.”  The men would have the opportunity to see what single life is truly like, no strings attached for a week.  After the 6 days are up, their wives would return and the men would supposedly have the urge out of their system and would become “neutered” is the only word I can really think of.

Although neither wife give it a second thought, after a few embarrassing scenes both husbands are granted a hall pass, with Fred being more excited than Rick.  When the wives go off to a beach house the men stay back home to live it up.  Soon enough the women themselves have found suitors for themselves while the men are having a little more issues with the womanizing ways.

Peter and Bobby Farrelly are very talented writers and directors.  Their movies in the 90s from Dumb and Dumber, Kingpin to There’s Something About Mary were some of the funniest films of the decade (especially the underappreciated and hilarious Kingpin). After this run, they seemed to fall on hard times with Shallow Hal, Me Myself and Irene and Stuck On You, which all had their moments but were really not anything special.  After their last unwatchable film The Heartbreak Kid (shudder) I was hoping for something special with Hall Pass, but with focusing on the toilet humor that was unneeded in the film and making the women shrewish when there was no need for it the movie misses the mark.

The movie starts out so well because any couple with kids could easily associate trying to have a romantic night and being foiled by kids waking up, not going to sleep and tons of other circumstances beyond your control.  If the film followed this string and made the problem for the main married couple the lack of time they have together it would have made sense.  Yet at the end of this scene when you think Maggie falls asleep before their romantic night even starts. But in reality is faking being asleep; the movie hit its first speed bump.

Owen Wilson’s Rick is probably one of the sweetest characters he has played.  It is evident that he adores his wife and family and has no desire to be with another woman.  All he does is talk dirty with the boys, check out hot women and make fun of a giant tool of a man that is somehow in his group of friends.  Yet these traits, which I can guarantee 99.9% of men all do is supposed to make him a jerk that needs to be put in his place?  I didn’t follow this logic.   It is revealed later that the reason that Maggie was faking sleeping was because she was worried if they would be together he wouldn’t have been thinking of her.  Yet instead of voicing this concern she plays some mind games with him and ultimately leaves him for a week.  This movie portrays the guys as little sheep dogs that need to be put on leashes and hit with a newspaper when bad and the women who are saints because the put up with them.   While Fred is a dorky guy, Rick is a guy that most women would love to end up with. By making him look small the movie and the women characters lose my sympathy.The other problem with the film was that it had a sweet sentimental streak and honest laughs in the film the get covered by gross out humor.  I laughed at many scenes in the film that were grounded in some sort of reality.  These scenes were the best in the film because they were relatable.  I know that if I had a week off to myself, I would not go after women but more than likely would just hang out with my friends and relax.  And that is what Rick and Fred seem to do more than anything.  The movie would really start working on me and then a scene would come up with some sort of feces related punch line and deflate the goodwill the movie was building up. While the brothers are known for this type of humor it felt unneeded and out of place in this film.  Peter and Bobby are both in their 50’s now and should try to move on from this type of humor, or at least remember that their most successful movie, There’s Something About Mary managed to make the obscene and gross out movies funny and part of the plot.

Hall Pass was not a horrible movie.  I laughed a few times and found it to be mostly enjoyable.  Owen Wilson was very charming in the film and he has a sweet monologue at the end that he really sells well.  But I can’t wholly recommend the film because it had the chance to be something better and failed to become that.  I believe that the brothers can make another laugh out loud movie and that they found a good leading man for their type of film in Wilson, but Hall Pass is not that film.  In the end Hall Pass is a good rental or catching on cable type flick but nothing that needs to be seen now.

Trailer:

Hall Pass (2011)

Directed by Bobby and Peter Farrelly
Screenplay by Pete Jones, Kevin Barnett, Bobby and Peter Farrelly
Starring Owen Wilson, Jason Sudeikis, Jenna Fischer and Christina Applegate

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